Weekly Wrap Up {13}

so, i haven't been the best about updating every week or even in between.  i've been busy.  i am now in trimester 2, as i write this.  

i have had so many things on my mind and will have to start writing them when i think about them.  like motherhood, i have started to think about what that actually means.  and so far i still have bad dreams about miscarrying but i think that is just my conscious and subconscious communicating.

i have been feeling a bit more queasy in the mornings than earlier in the pregnancy, which is funny because i thought it would start letting up.  still haven't actually thrown up, and i feel so blessed this pregnancy.  my milk craziness has let up a little bit and i have still been eating all the time.  

this upcoming week we'll go and hear the heart beat and i will probably update on the weight gain.  i was 142 last time, which is about what i weighed when i got married, but over the last year i think i had dropped down to a 130-135 range (i document this mostly for me),  if i was about 135 at time of conception than that means i have gained roughly 5 pounds from that point to week 10...adjusting for clothes and stuff.  

we should find out what we are having in about 8 weeks.  i think it's a girl, and now that i have said that it will be a boy.  really it's a 1 in 2 shot.  but quite a few people have said they think it's a boy and for some reason i just think they are all wrong.  i don't know if i just want a girl more or if it's intuition or i am just crazy.  i look at boy stuff at stores just as much as girl stuff that way i am excited and happy for either, which i think i will be... but i just think it's a girl...and if i am wrong then haha you told me so

i took mike to babies r us to look at stuff and he didn't enjoy himself at all.  i just wanted to go together to get an idea of the things that we think are necessary and that we would both want and really i think i will just register by myself, unless he comes around.  i don't think he really cares what we have, but maybe that is not giving him enough credit, maybe it was just a bad day.  and there is a ton of stuff there, really do you need everything?  some things i think we will just get if we decide it becomes a need and not just a want.  i think i found a stroller/car seat combo that is gender neutral while still being cute and something that i like.  we practised opening and closing it and walking around with it and all sorts of other things.  and i liked it but they are really big.  maybe we'll get it soon...

i feel like i am rambling but i have one more thing to say

i have never been so excited to gain weight and have my body grow.  i don't like my bigger breasts at all, they just don't feel like mine any more, but my bigger tummy.  i love it!  for years as a teenager i struggled with self image and my size and all those things that teenage girls worry about and i got worse and crazier between 18 and 20.  after i married mike i gained a ton of self confidence and stopped caring and just ate what i wanted to and worked out how i wanted to.  and i still looked like me, the way God and genetics made me.  now, i love my growing tummy.  i am so proud to be popping out even a little bit and i am so excited for it to grow and grow and grow.  i will definitely have a maternity session done of me around 7 or 8 months.